My diary.


January. February. March. April. May. June. July&Augustus. September. November. December.

i just finished "Me Before You" and I WAS NOT PREPARED.. I CRIED LIKE A BABYYY />.

good news, im going on vacation in a week!! finally!! two months of utter relaxation!! im going to my homecity by the beach and its my fave city in the entire world. i definitely want to live on a seaside city in the future. it does wonders for your mental health!

bc im travelling so soon, i want to have all the layouts for my website ready so i wont have to edit anymore on vacation you get me? bc im not bringing my laptop with me. though these days i fall asleep exhausted as hell..

i am an old as hell adult and still need to cuddle something/someone to fall asleep.. i just need to lay against someone or hold someone so i can sleep and its making me sad! i wish i could fall asleep with someone!!!

i redownloaded twitter again btw.. i am just a slave to the corporations.. but its only my priv twitter bc i wanna know how my friends are doing so thats fine.

soon i have that therapy appointment where theyll either diagnose me or tell me a treatment plan and ackkk im nervous!! i hope its nothing bad.. stay tuned!

have a good day hehe

28 JUNE 2023.

Pastel Ghost - Shadows Slowed + Reverbed

i had a nightmare where my sister told me she found this website and i woke up in a SWEAT immediately reaching for my phone to delete this website lol

anyways last days have been pretty okay.. i have so many plans for this website but i havent worked on them yet.. apologies.. im very zzz tired these days.

mint tea is so good btw

ive been back into reminiscing my animation meme phase.. it was such a wonderful time!

okay byebye (*¯︶¯*)

21 JUNE 2023.

Pusher - Clear ft. Mothica (Shawn Wasabi Remix)

Hello people of the web.. back with another blog entry..

I haven't been diary logging lately because every night when I settle into bed and think I'm going to write, I get too tired and just choose to snooze.

Anyways, I've been watching the office and I'm enjoying it so so much? I thought it'd be a boring show but it makes me laugh irl.

I have so many plans for this website but I can't go on my phone during the day a lot, so I fantasise about my website plans and at night get ready to work but then I get too tired and sleep.. I'm so tired …

I got two nosebleeds in a row. Those were my second and third nosebleed of my whole life. It's either bc it was hot or I have some unknown illness.

I'm so sleepy these days.. like, eyes rolling back, head lulling in evening type of sleepy. I just wanna sleep forever….

I haven't replied to any of my friends messages in weeks and I feel guilty but I just really don't have the energy to.. I have the time, I just can't bring myself to do it you know?

Anyways, I'm going to sleep I think and wake up early to work on the site muahehe.

19 JUNE 2023.

mood: The current mood of heliosaltar at www.imood.com

hello. it's nearly 8am and i haven't slept yet but that’s okay because i'm watching skins and THE GUY FROM SUBMARINE IS HERE!!!!!

i really really love this actor even though ive only seen one movie of him.. reckon i should write a love piece about that film sometime?

anyways, he's very cute here. very much a nervous nerd. there's this scene where he helps effys friend into the bathroom to shower bc she was sick and he asked "do you want me to get naked too in solidarity?" the friend said no and he said "your loss".

anyways how r u? i've been fine. very tired lately. but the sun is out and it's beautiful so it's okay!

do you think a thing such as “good person” exists? i dont think i'm a good person

18 JUNE 2023.

good night :),

today was a very relaxing day.
i started the day with a nice shower and then ate some very good bread with sausage and lettuce.
then i biked in soft spring weather and went to my moms and ate good food. then i went on my laptop and watched some skins and listened to all the arctic monkeys discography.

in fact, as i'm writing this, cornerstone is playing! "TELL ME WHERES YOUR HIDING PLACEEE"

so yeah i'm very tired and i'm going to sleep. i hope your day went good :)

love, helios

2 JUNE 2023.
"C'mon, Tristan, you're hitting that door like a Girl Scout!" ~Joey Wheeler

hello dear friend!

i went to the library today and there were this group of oldies watching some obscure old french film and when it was done the curtains were drawn (it wasn’t a room just shielded by curtains) and they were all clapping and happy.. it made ME happy. i wish to be able to do that too when i’m old.

1 JUNE 2023.

spiderman across the spiderverse